Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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