What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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