you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
