if you like me you must not know who I am
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
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My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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