so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
