the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
foreskin is a definite game changer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
