this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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