no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
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she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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