He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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