He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
