I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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