Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
