I just threw up on my dentist
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
