I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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