Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
