It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
