ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
