That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
