this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize