How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
