Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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