I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize