Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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