I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
