I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
