i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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