home. puking in laundry basket.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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