Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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