all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize