also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
