i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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