He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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