The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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