Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize