its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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