He kissed a someone with a penis
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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