The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the day after is always just damage control
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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