Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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