i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
