If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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