So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
