BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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