so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Vodka?
Forever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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