girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fuck appropriateness.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize