I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
