I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize