saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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