hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
COCAINE IS GR8
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
