I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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