I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
