If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
