I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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