is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
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You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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