that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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