My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize