Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
